The Expendables Review

Who would've thought it. After thirty something years in the industry, two hit film series' and the icon of at least two generations,
Sylvester Stallone is still going strong. The relentless actor/director/writer is still determined to create action films that involve two key ingredients for success - himself as the hero and gore by the truck load.

The Expendables is no different to this formula. With a simple plot about a group of ex special forces mercenaries (what other kind is there)
who are hired to kill the tyrant leader of a small island that none of the crew have ever heard of for the sake of cold hard cash and a bit
of globe trotting.

In all honesty, the plot is merely a preable, a way to justify the lavish helpings of broken bones, a body count to rival Robocop and enough
decapitations to make the French Revolution look like a lads weekend in Paris.

When a cast oozes so much testosterone, one thing that is to be expected is macho dialogue so over the top, if it wasn't performed by the
likes of Statham, Stallone and Lundgren it would seem much more ridiculous that in is.

The vast array of talent makes for impressive fight scenes that put you into a sort of trance where if you blink you may miss something
that in the greater scheme of things is totally banal but in the moment is what you paid your *cough cough mumble mumble* cinema ticket for.

While Stallones character, Barney Ross and company are fairly transparant and have the depth of the Titanic in Hyde Park's lake, the evil dictators and company are
more transparent than Nick Clegg and his promise to keep to Lib Dem policies in the Coalition government.

General Garza (David Zayas) the aforementioned tyrant leader of ficticious tropical paradise Vilenna. As has been a theme in this summers
major action fiesta's, a rogue CIA operative, James Munroe (Eric Roberts) is meddling in the background of the situation trying to make money through the trades he spent
years closing down.

As Garza is shown to be more of puppet than leader he gains a sense of virtue, respect, honour, which feels more of a narrative device to
shine the light on who is really the cold and corrupted bad guy, Munroe.

However, deep motivated questions of self value and worth unto humanity are not what this film is about. This film is about blood, guts 'n' guns,
all of which are scarily easy to acquire. From Statham's knife wielding SAS expert to Terry Crews' automatic shotgun wielding brick shithouse -
any of the unfortunate souls that come bearing flags of surrender courtesy of the Geneva Convention have picked the wrong day to turn up for
work at the dictatorship complex.

Director Stallone said in a recent interview, standing by his use of heavy violence in his films, that swift deaths come to the general cannon
fodder as they are bad, but not too bad. Yet the guys who threaten women or are in anyway particularly heavy handed in whatever it is they decide
to do in the presence of Barney Ross, are going to meet a particularly splattered end in not many single shapes. Because as is common knowledge,
all mercenaries, while being a singular manifestation of kevlar and guns, have a heart that beats lead and bloodlust around their body but is made of pure
good and honest intentions.

Now thats just nit picking. Trying to question the mentality and justification for actions committed in a film directed by Sylvester Stallone is
almost as pointless as watching Arnie's revenge masterpiece, Commando, and trying to spot continuity errors such as breaking into a gun shop
and acquiring a huge arsenal of weapons, but no ammo. Its just not worth debating.

One of the key selling points of The Expendables was the promise of the union of the holy trinity of 80's action heroes on screen for the first
time - Mr Bruce Willis, Mr Sly Stallone and the current Governor of California, Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger. While their moment is but a blip in
The Expendables timeline, the sight of all three action legends in their later years is a great scene to behold, even if the Governors cameo
is more than a handful of words and a jibe at his political career. It was worth it.

The Expendables isnt what most would call a high quality cinematic product. It's gun toting orientation nudges it more in the direction of
bargain dvd bin than silverscreen domination. But, with so many legends of generations, glorious scenes of utter carnage and Jason Statham
totally winning that beret fashion statement, out of 2010's summer releases, The Expendables may be the most brain dead logically but for
pure entertainment and escapism into the haunted place that is Sylvester Stallones subconscious, you can't do any better.

At least until The Expendables Part Deux.